Why is it important to keep your children out of divorce conflict?

Even though there could be a lot of positive outcomes of a divorce, that doesn’t mean it isn’t an emotionally taxing process for everyone involved. As you acclimate to life without your ex-spouse, it’s especially important to keep your children out of conflict or disagreements that may come along as a result of your separation.

To prevent putting your child in the middle of co-parent issues or custody schedule concerns, you should be mindful of how you speak about your ex. Talking out problems can help you heal through personal struggles that you encounter after divorce, but seeking a support group or therapist will be better for both you and your children in the long run. This is because children don’t need to carry more burdens while they adjust to living in two homes and are still developing socially and emotionally. If you continually involve your children in divorce-related conflict, then several negative impacts could unfold.

Play the blame game

Maybe you are going through a real issue with your parenting plan. Perhaps your ex constantly asks to change the custody schedule and you are beyond frustrated. Although it can feel like your children might be the only ones who understand your situation, it’s best you keep co-parent discussions between you and your ex. And if your children have to witness your co-parent discussions, then they should remain civil.

When you are angry due to a situation that centers around your children ⁠— even if it is clearly your spouse you are angry with ⁠— your children might still feel like they are the ones to blame. Speaking without thinking happens sometimes, and you should forgive yourself, but making a habit of arguing in front of your children can negatively affect their mental health

Pick a side

Bad-talking your spouse in front of your children can also lead larger problems down the line. According to Psychology Today, children often take negative things one parent says about the other to heart. In turn, your child might want to turn against one parent or they could suffer from low self-esteem.

Keeping your child’s spirits high can help them be the best version of themselves, and this can start with how you manage family conflicts within your home.


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